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Hi Sweet Friend🤍!

Do you ever have one of those days where you wake up in a funk for no apparent reason… and then you can’t shake it??

Yep... Me too. In fact, I had this happen the other day. I woke up on my day off and immediately felt irritated. Maybe it was the four sleep disruptions between my two kids, or maybe it was lingering stress from the work week--I don’t know. All I know is that EVERYTHING was sorta mildly pissing me off. 😒

Now if I’m being completely honest, I often miss the cues that I am in a negative headspace and don’t start trying to regulate myself till it’s too late and I’ve already snapped at someone else. But on this day, I caught my irritability right away! I thought, “awesome, Hannah, look at you being so self-aware” and I chose to try and do a quick 10 minute visualization meditation while my husband got breakfast ready for the kids.

Sounds smart, right?😎

Well..it didn't work. AT. ALL.

I laid on the bed and literally could not focus on more than two words at a time. I could hear my kids wildly running about in the living room, I could hear my husband clinking pots and pans—I just could not quiet my head. And the tightness in my chest continued to tighten, almost like a wash cloth being rung out. Ugh, right?

So, I quit the meditation about 4 mins in and thought, “let’s try plan B”. I figured if I just do my hair and make-up while I listen to chill music that I would definitely start to calm down. Nope. The music honestly pissed me off worse for some reason and the tightening increased.

So we moved to plan C: eat something, drink water. I thought this for sure would help. I must just have low blood sugar from sleeping or something! Nope, now my stomach was full and it somehow made my chest tightness feel worse. Sweet.

Finally, I decided I needed to get on a walk with the kids. I loaded them up after 20 struggle-bus minutes wrangling two toddlers. Literally felt worse at this point because of how much work it is to get two kids under three years old ready to do anything (IYKYK). But we started on our way. 💃🏻

At this point, my chest was tight and pressure-y and I was just flat out annoyed. It felt like everything I was trying to do took ALL the effort and even walking my kids on the path felt like I was moving my body through molasses.

Not exactly a relaxing, calming walk.

Eventually, we got to the park. I unbuckled the kids and let them run free while I grabbed a seat on a swing. I started swinging slowly and just sat and watched my sweet kids run about. Sitting there in the sunshine, with the chilly fall air, I noticed my chest had loosened. No longer did it feel like my legs were filled with paperweights and I felt a much lighter mood.😌

It occurred to me then, that maybe what I needed was just to do nothing. Just sit and watch my babies. Feel the sun and breeze on my skin and not try SO hard to do ALLLLLL the things to calm down.

I just needed to simplify.

It got me thinking about how as a formerly super anxiously attached girlie, that my nervous system can still be a little sensitive. And instead of cramming my morning with all the therapist skills I can think of, I sometimes need to just sloooooooow down and observe.⏸

This is so so so important for anyone struggling with anxious attachment because you may be a little more sensitive to overstimulation and overwhelm, and you may find that you seek a sense of worth and value from doing/being productive/achieving.

So.. moral of the story: If you ever have one of those mornings where no matter what you do, you feel stuck in dysregulation, maybe it’s a sign to just slow it down for a bit. Just sit and observe something outside yourself.

I have a feeling the tightness will loosen, your mood will lighten, and things will start to feel better.

I hope you find some time to slow it down this week, friend. 🫶🏻

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In your corner always,

Connect with me on the gram! 👇🏼

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Stay tuned for information on my course: Anxious to Secure--Healing Your Anxious Attachment--Coming in January 2024! 😘